After a long break I decided it was high time to get back to writing a regular blog here and what seemed like a better day than the beginning of a new year for some and the beginning of a new season for many. This year I have been fully caught up with the intensity of reflection, contemplation and atonement, no don`t worry, I haven`t been subjected to Kira (pouting) knightly and a slice of Ian McEwan.
Reading Victor Frankl, I have been thinking a lot
about conflict, the accused and accuser and victim mentality.
Plenty of people will accuse one of all sorts of misdemeanors and I have seen so many conflicts on this basis. Then people get into this cycle of accused and accuser, when if two people, two neighbours, two countries, two continents would come together and explore the different sides the kaleidoscope of perspectives would become apparent and people would be able to come to a resolution.
I think of the Oslo agreement as an example of this, families from Palestine and Israel coming together to make art and explore the differing perspectives--as art can help us see different layers of society (and of people themselves which are often hidden) and these can then reveal hidden injustices. Realising how these diverse opinions are enriching. Often then realising that the conflict is the only reason for staying in the conflict.
I am pro-peace, not against war, fighting against something creates more conflict and stronger opposition. I `ve learnt over the years that people will make assumptions and accusations no matter how hard one tries to keep the peace and make everyone happy, but as my brother always said-"you can`t please everyone" but you can accept and respect everyone.
I always wondered why do people keep accusing without a hearing. Sometimes, I wish there was a room, not a court room but a peace room where people could go and there could be a hearing from both sides before a conflict starts. I wish that there was some kind of penalty for accusing people based on assumptions rather before they had a hearing.
Before a conflict starts, I always think it`s better for others to state how they think and feel about situations to the others so that there can be open before it blows into a conflict. This is the tricky part because just stating how one feels or thinks to the other side is often where the conflict starts. So, it is important that the other side is open and ready to hear with an open heart. Otherwise the other side may jump to conclusions of being accused, and one is back in the cycle again. Equally, I think it is important to state how one feels and put the responsibility back onto oneself... If one side starts to point fingers at the other whether it be a country or a neighbour or two people in love saying "this is not the first time you have done this too me" This is a very provocative statement and plays a victim card that immediately puts the other in a defensive standpoint. I always think it is better to say, "previously I/we have felt hurt by your actions and I thought we could talk about why this is to resolve it". Of course I also prefer artistic expression of each other`s situation. In this way it opens up the diversity of perspectives and hearts of the other side so that each other becomes aware of the position with all the complexities of their truth, that is the way that they have seen it.
People must be ready for this in an open space--a hearing room--not when the conflict has already erupted.
Unfortunately all too often people hold back their assumptions, their truths if you like until some "mistake" happens--and lets not forget that "To err is human, to forgive is divine". Thank you Alexander Pope. This is again a tricky place because people can use this "mistake" as an opportunity to bring in all their assumptions like a deluge and dump it on this person, neighbour, lover, country, continent.
It reminds me of when I marched against war in Iraq, which should have been a pro-peace march....there was a mixture of people who used this opportunity to show their antagonism to be against oil war, against children being used in war, against imperial war.
Should be turned on it`s head and lived on a daily basis, instead of using a special occasion to be against...
.....what are you for, what are you pro..?
I am pro diversity, pro peace, pro open communication, pro democracy and finding out what that really means beyond our corrupt idea of the big D today, pro living to your values, pro resolution, pro freedom of expression without hurting others
I could go on, but I am more fascinated to hear what others think.
Reading Victor Frankl, I have been thinking a lot
about conflict, the accused and accuser and victim mentality.Plenty of people will accuse one of all sorts of misdemeanors and I have seen so many conflicts on this basis. Then people get into this cycle of accused and accuser, when if two people, two neighbours, two countries, two continents would come together and explore the different sides the kaleidoscope of perspectives would become apparent and people would be able to come to a resolution.
I think of the Oslo agreement as an example of this, families from Palestine and Israel coming together to make art and explore the differing perspectives--as art can help us see different layers of society (and of people themselves which are often hidden) and these can then reveal hidden injustices. Realising how these diverse opinions are enriching. Often then realising that the conflict is the only reason for staying in the conflict.
I am pro-peace, not against war, fighting against something creates more conflict and stronger opposition. I `ve learnt over the years that people will make assumptions and accusations no matter how hard one tries to keep the peace and make everyone happy, but as my brother always said-"you can`t please everyone" but you can accept and respect everyone.
I always wondered why do people keep accusing without a hearing. Sometimes, I wish there was a room, not a court room but a peace room where people could go and there could be a hearing from both sides before a conflict starts. I wish that there was some kind of penalty for accusing people based on assumptions rather before they had a hearing.
Before a conflict starts, I always think it`s better for others to state how they think and feel about situations to the others so that there can be open before it blows into a conflict. This is the tricky part because just stating how one feels or thinks to the other side is often where the conflict starts. So, it is important that the other side is open and ready to hear with an open heart. Otherwise the other side may jump to conclusions of being accused, and one is back in the cycle again. Equally, I think it is important to state how one feels and put the responsibility back onto oneself... If one side starts to point fingers at the other whether it be a country or a neighbour or two people in love saying "this is not the first time you have done this too me" This is a very provocative statement and plays a victim card that immediately puts the other in a defensive standpoint. I always think it is better to say, "previously I/we have felt hurt by your actions and I thought we could talk about why this is to resolve it". Of course I also prefer artistic expression of each other`s situation. In this way it opens up the diversity of perspectives and hearts of the other side so that each other becomes aware of the position with all the complexities of their truth, that is the way that they have seen it.
People must be ready for this in an open space--a hearing room--not when the conflict has already erupted.
Unfortunately all too often people hold back their assumptions, their truths if you like until some "mistake" happens--and lets not forget that "To err is human, to forgive is divine". Thank you Alexander Pope. This is again a tricky place because people can use this "mistake" as an opportunity to bring in all their assumptions like a deluge and dump it on this person, neighbour, lover, country, continent.
It reminds me of when I marched against war in Iraq, which should have been a pro-peace march....there was a mixture of people who used this opportunity to show their antagonism to be against oil war, against children being used in war, against imperial war.
Should be turned on it`s head and lived on a daily basis, instead of using a special occasion to be against...
.....what are you for, what are you pro..?
I am pro diversity, pro peace, pro open communication, pro democracy and finding out what that really means beyond our corrupt idea of the big D today, pro living to your values, pro resolution, pro freedom of expression without hurting others
I could go on, but I am more fascinated to hear what others think.
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