Independence and Love Entwined_The Journey of Knowing

Natascha thought she had left that world behind, yet it came back to haunt her with all the ferocity, joy and pain that she had once felt before.  In the rain and drizzle she looked out upon the runners taking their Sunday morning jog.  Winter crows landed upon a statue above looking over the river.  In a tired and lack of sleep haze, she watched a young couple awoken from their long slumber, taking a late breakfast on the table in front of her, oblivious to life challenges ahead.   

      She was older now, a foolish heart yearning for a lost love was childish was it not? Then why did it feel as if that love was fresh and new as dew upon a freshly cut lawn.  Despite her exhaustion, she walked through the streets wet and glistening like the moonlight upon fallen snow.  In the museum, Rembrandt's tired and worn self portrait shed its stillness and moved through emotions of the ages to reach me in present time. His eyes danced alive watching, knowing that there are more depths in imperfection than finding that perfectly stylized real impression of life.  Turning the corner Vermeer's Pearl Earring, that with my gaze, grew larger than life, dared me to find perfection, but go beyond, to live out those imperfections.

      Leaving the museum, gaggles of young teenage girls pass Natascha, reminded her of what she once was.  Of the lives that she has lived and the stories she has yet to tell.  Living for a thousand years could only take a moment in the minds of those beings beyond Lanieka, yet here on earth these thousands of years sometimes felt like her own private torture.  Human emotions are so muddy.  She struggled to find her way through.  Her dreams had been filled with endless swamps that she had to swim through, but recently the water had become clearer.  Yet her waking life, still missed something.  She felt like she had grown beyond yearning and it was more than that now.  It was something that she wished would either actualise or end.  Even though she knew her love she had lost, was endless and beyond any notion of time. Yet time weighed heavy on her part human soul and the emotions had dragged her to places she didn`t want to go.  She had become stronger now though.  She no longer fought a war between her mind and her heart, she was able to let go more and let the complications wash through her without forcing a resolution too quickly, instead letting it evolve.  Walking back through the rain, alone, this was the way it had to be, for now.

An episode from A Tiger's Den: https://www.wattpad.com/217282294-the-tiger's-den-independence-and-love-entwined-the